A Note to my Neighbors (Whom I do not know)

Dear Neighbors,

I realize we've not introduced ourselves, but my name is Jocelyn and I live just across the street from you. I come to the bus stop every morning with my daughter. So, I guess we've known each other for a little while.

Back on Halloween when your daughter and son came trick or treating, I asked her where her older sister was, as I had not seen her at the bus stop in a while. She said she was in the hospital. I didn't ask any further, because I didn't want to pry, but then yesterday I overheard her grandmother talking to another neighbor about how your daughter was very ill and had been in the ICU, but was now doing better.

I just wanted to take the opportunity to say that I truly hope she is getting better, and that, thought I can't know exactly what you're going through, we have been through something similar ourselves and maybe I can understand a little of what you're feeling. Back when my son was 5 months old, he was hospitalized for a very serious condition. I can truly say I've never been so terrified in my entire life. I know the feeling of having the ground fall out from beneath your feet when you never thought it was possible for that to happen. I know what it's like to live in a hospital room with your child, scared to sleep in case you miss something that could save his life. I know the stress of wanting to/needing to stay with your ill child every minute but still wanting to/needing to leave and tend to your well child and your sanity. And I know the scared relief that you feel when that child starts to recover, but those raging doubts in your mind that something else could go wrong just won't leave you alone.

I know it's odd to share all of this with you. I've been beating myself up for a week just thinking about if I should approach you. I know we really don't know each other, even though we live in the same small neighborhood. I know that my family and I keep to ourselves. We are from a very different area, where neighbors don't know one another. It's something we are very used to, and old habits like that are very hard to break. But because of what you are going through, I thought I might reach out and say that I know you must have a lot of friends all around you and in the neighborhood, but if you can use one more, count us in. Please let us know if there's anything you need or anything we can do for you all. We will be glad to help.

Sincerely,
Your neighbors.

The truth of the matter here is, that I will probably never send this letter. I am complete chicken s---t when it comes to dealing with people, and I can't stop myself from thinking that I either sound crazy, or too self-serving without meaning to. And we live near each other, so if they think I'm crazy or something, it's going to make for awkward times. It is so much easier not to have relationships at all, you know? It sucks, but it's easier. I need courage.