I'd Like To

tell you about my daughter's first day of school, however, when I asked her what she did today, she told me there was "too much to tell" and left it at that. I have gotten no information from her.

I can tell you that when she came home she looked pretty tired. Probably because this was her first full day of school, 8:50 to 3:15, and she was in the structured setting of first grade. But that is all I know. I also think she had music at some point, but I can't commit...

Instead, I guess I will have to tell you about my first day of my daughter's school. I am proud to say I cried much less. In fact, I didn't cry at all until I thought about taking the kids to the farmer's market Friday morning, and realized one of my children would not be there. Then I cried. But other than that, I was brave.

What's hardest for me is always how much I DON'T know about her days. And before you label me a control freak, let me explain. I stay at home. I raise my children. Pretty much that means that I know what they're up to during the day, even when I can't see them. When Little Girl was in Kindergarten, it was a half day, and I wasn't missing much, even when she had "too much to tell". Now she's got a full day, and at the end of it, I'm left to piece together what happened either by what little information she gives me, or what was sent home in her folder. Who was she talking to? What friends did she make? What did she learn? Those things I can't answer. I don't even know what the teacher looks like or who she is. This is what I find so hard--I can't choose who it is who is influencing my daughter. What is she teaching? How does she act? Is she supportive or not?

I know this is part of letting go. I know this is a part of growing up. I can accept that, ....but it doesn't make it easier.

My daughter, a study in contrasts: pretty dress, shiny new shoes....and a Wall-E backpack.